“All of us’ from cradle to grave, are happiest when life is organised as a series of excursions, long or short, from the secure base provided by our attachment figures” by British psychologist John Bowlby.
I find this so true. Life is all about relationships, we humans are social animals. Over the last half century we have been bombarded with more is better when it comes to stuff. But on the eve of turning 40 years old I am changing my views. Life is not about stuff at all but rather it is about relationships. In my early working life I was a retail worker. I loved meeting talking to, and building relationships with customers. I did not like a slow store as I just wanted to meet and talk to more and more people. I really miss that sort of work because a steady stream of new people always walked through the door.
My home is the place where my attachment figures live. I love to go on short and long excursions of running, cycling, climbing from this base. I am not sure if I would love these activities as much if I did not have family, friends and community to share the adventures with. My wife and kids are very similar they love to go out on excursion from the house but are also keen to return to this place of foundation and security.
I am at the stage of life that I really have all the stuff I could ever need and I have most of what I have ever wanted. It was 11 years ago when moving into our current house, that I figured out I had far too much. I have been working in cycles on getting the amount of stuff I have down to a reasonable amount. So getting rid of stuff has been an up and down affair. It is experiences that I want to collect and share.
This year when cleaning out things I found some projects that I had been saving for a day when I have the time and money to complete them. I decided that now was the time. I completed a project I had been working on for 27 years. It was good to complete for the sake of completion, but it did not bring the satisfaction I was hoping it would bring. I also purchased a toy that I had wanted as a kid, but never had. I got close as a kid in that I borrowed one from someone who was selling it second-hand. But I could not put together the funds as a 12-year-old. So as a project I purchased and build a remote control car with my son. We have been playing with it for some time and it has brought some satisfaction. What it has truly helped with is a realisation that some dreams or projects in the form of stuff will not bring about the satisfaction, I was hoping for.
I have slowly figured out, that relationships with others brings about true satisfaction. Spending time building the RC car with my kids is what I enjoyed. It was not about the car but about the time together. What is truly beautiful about relationships is that they don’t have to cost lots of money. Yes they take effort time but the time is worth all the effort. Relationships worth living are ones where all parties grow from the experience.
This week I have been working on a logo for doingthemiles.com this is what I have come up with. It sums up what I want to do with this site moving forward. Cycling, Running, Coaching, Climbing, Family, People, Community and more of everything I have been doing up till now. Everything that I like and affects my life and hopefully touches yours as well. I hope that doingthemiles.com can bring people together while working towards enjoying what is here and now.
Let me know what you think of the logo, what does it say to you?